After the last post I got lots of emails and a few phone calls. Why people still refuse to just post their comments is beyond me. I have considered posting the emails in the comments section but that would not be right. I also had conversations on Saturday night with some guys on the use of the N word.
I’m not going to try to list everything that was said because it would be a very large post and I try to stay away from that.
One guy said (and I am going to use this one) he doesn’t use the word even when telling a story. He changes the word to “black” so that if someone else tells the story the N word ends with him. I like that approach and will try to adopt it as well. There is no need for me to use it even when I quote someone. I know that if you are going to quote a person you are supposed to repeat them word for word but I think I will make the exception. I say that because if someone says something worth repeating and they just happened to be stupid in their choice of words I don’t think I have to share their ignorance just their insight. So I will edit out the hurt they were trying to inflict and leave in helpful information the story may hold.
Another guy was saying how he views the people that use the word as classless and almost subhuman. He said that the only purpose for the word is to inflict pain on others and that if that is the type of person that you are then you are less than human. I’m not sure if I would take it that far but I do understand his point.
We talked about how non-black people sometimes grow up around black people and think that makes it okay for them to use the word. That has always fascinated me. You would think that growing up around black people would make them more sensitive to the way black people feel. To be fair that is what happens to “some” of them. I guess no two people are the same. As one friend says “if it is in you it is just in you”.
I grew up around nothing but black people and I rarely heard the word. That takes me back to my original statement in the first post. Usage of the word says more about the person using it than it does the person or people it is aimed.
Another guy said that an option in dealing with the user[s] is when they are using it is to say “hold on for a second” and walk away and not come back. That one made me laugh out loud. I think I may like that one too much. I know I will use that one or a form of it.
If we do nothing then people will continue to use it either because they don’t know the pain they cause or they don’t care. If we all do a little and pass it on we can make a difference. I don’t want to write a part 3.
I stopped using it when I heard (of all people) Richard Pryor say he will stop using it. Yeah, I was young and listening to my parents albums when I wasn't supposed to but that struck me.
ReplyDeleteI remember when a white guy I was playing basketball with used it when he and another player got into it. At the time his wife was black and I guess he felt it was ok to use it. After he uttered the word the guys playing as well as the ones waiting looked as if they were ready to jump him. I myself was trying to keep the peace by keeping them apart but after he said what he said I almost turned and said 'Hey Jack, you're on your own!' but I stayed the peacemaker.
It's been a while since I used it but, like profanity, when angered then watch out. Like I told my wife - sometimes 'Golly Gee' just doesn't fit!!!
When will people figure out the they paint their own canvas throughout their lives? Ignorance and racism are as much a part of the landscape as they ever were. The concern for me is as you put it, how can intelligent people continue to invite speculation based on words...yet they continue.
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